Chances are if you are reading this you have have either stumbled across this blog by mistake or via a link you found somewhere floating around on the web.

Either way, you have my deepest sympathy.

This blog was originally set up for my daydreams and a vent for my ability to think about utter rubbish. This mixed with waffling equalled this blog.

Oh and apologies for the awful use of English when I write, no doubt my poor grasp of my mother tongue will be apparent for all to see.

Kisses and Hugs x

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

The thing at the door, my childhood ghost story

Ghosts, generally a thing of ridicule and at present I'm a sceptic, sadly it seems that along with my faith in God (I know right, me, religious?) my spiritualism has also left me.

However, when I was kid I was always plagued by stuff going bump in the night and no I don't mean hearing the neighbours 'at it'.

It started at the time I had first came to England, fresh off the plane and still spoke with an american accent (I said mommy back then) we had our first house and it was the terraced thing built in the 60s or something not run down or anything but 'average' I can only describe it as 'average', the kind of house that is the direct opposite of something that could be described as haunted. .

So it began,
It was always at night when I heard/saw things, nothing major just the usual horror film shadow passing by my shut door, hearing things moving in my room (toys believe it or not, especially Lego and I think my cars. Mainly what was left on my floor) I kept telling my mum that someone was in my room with me and playing with my toys and I wanted to change rooms!

So I did.
To the room opposite it..

Seems that I thought moving rooms would end the spookiness, Oh how young, chubby and naive I was.
 Even after moving bedrooms I still always had that feeling of not being alone in my room, not an aggressive feeling just one of knowing I wasn't alone and as a small kid it was extremely unnerving BUT not upsetting I was always in a "What the actual f**k was that?" mode but small child version which for me would have been "Ewoks are awesome!!! . . what was that noise?" and this carried on for a while until one night..

If you have ever watched the Sixth Sense you'll be familiar with the theme that ghosts/spirits etc appear when the temperature drops but for me it was the opposite. Some time in the hours of an autumn night/early morning I awoke sweating and couldn't get comfortable, so throwing off my covers I flopped around like a fish that had just been caught in a net trying to find the elusive cold spot of the bed. I was only a small nipper so my view of the door has been blocked by my chest of drawers but as I sat up in a huff that I couldn't settle. .  I saw this...

Excuse my poor use of paint but hopefully you'll get the gist of what i'm on about

What I saw can be simply described as a shadowy black outline of a child, it stood just shy of half way up the door frame and wasn't moving at all, the light behind it didn't give it a glow or anything and I couldn't see his/her features at all but my instincts were yelling at me that it was a fellow child.

It was the early hours my mum was asleep, no sounds in the house and all I can see is an unknown person in the shadows and moonlight and to this day that moment has been the ONLY time i've felt complete and utter terror, pure terror. 

What do you do as a child when you;re afraid? that's right, hide in the covers. I led there like nothing had happened in the sweat box of thick covers and pyjamas and when I thought 'it' had gone I commando crawled down to the middle of my bed and lifted up my cover..

Still there. . not moving, not making a sound, I was petrified.

Now I don't know if anyone has had that feeling but when fear grips you it's impossible to do anything. I couldn't cry out to my mum and every time I did it was a weak and pitiful "mu....m, mu...m" and I barely made a sound, this went on for 5/10 minutes and I couldn't make enough noise to make an audible noise but I think terror became fear and I started crying out and banging on my wall until my bedroom light came on and the shadow had gone.

Now as I said i'm a major sceptic when it comes to ghosts and hauntings and I think spirit mediums need a good punch in the f*cking face for playing on peoples emotions but I saw something as a child and it wasn't my imagination as i've got older I thought ah probably my ADHD playing tricks on me but I thought about it and I had toys and friends as a child why the hell would I make an imaginary friend up that terrified me?

or simply put

"who you gonna call?"

Saturday, 13 August 2011

New Blog Banner/Title. . thing

Is right above these words hopefully. . unless this is being read in a few months when it'll be slapped in the archives and all you'll able to read above it is shame and guilt x

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Google+ and the Temple of Doom

       It's been a while since I have put virtual ink to virtual paper but I've just been overwhelmed with exam stress, moving all over the place and now primarily sitting on the couch watching day time telly. .and not through choice mind you.
        I love working and more importantly earning money for steak and eggs (read as crisps and biscuits) Sadly however, the only work in my area is miles away annnd I don't drive and don't have a license (I also have a slight phobia of driving but that's for another blog) so yeah, daytime telly whilst laying on the couch eating Pringles - like a boss it is. .


       Been neglecting the blog so I thought "why not update the blog pal?" . . I don't address myself as 'pal' by the way. . I call myself Captain HappyFace. . .I don't.  .or do I?

So Google+ is in Beta and this morning I set up my page got bored didn't really explore it and went on Facebook, will this overtake Facebook and crush it's domination or will it be like Myspace and Bebo (yeah I forgot about Bebo until this morning) and simply fade away into the background?

. . .I really forgot about Bebo, was there any more that simply died? Faceparty? PartyFace?. . .meh

Where did I put my biscuits...

Saturday, 21 May 2011

"Sugar You make my soul complete. Rapture tastes so sweet"


Yeaaaaah? Shall we put a bet on that mate?

So all I'm hearing today is Rapture this Rapture that, Rapture will destroy your evil cat blah blah blah

    Here is my opinion on this whole Rapture and religion stuff.  Firstly Don't take this the wrong way, If you believe in Jesus and God then don't take this as a personal insult, despite my tone and my beliefs I would never belittle anyone for their faith or general beliefs.

     My personal opinion on the religion of Christianity is this. Simply put, there is no God, no over-sized bearded man with a white robe high in his fortress of heaven.
    There may have been a Jesus but as historians have all pointed out this Jesus character was a rebel leader trying to incite violence against the Roman occupied Judea. Trying and thus failing to do so he was captured and was executed for doing so . . I can rant on about history tones down the hype of  the bible for hours so will stop now :P
     And this whole Rapture nonsense, seriously? some nutter predicts the end of the world and a load of people believe it??

          "I predict that someone will bring me a large mocha and a chocolate chip cupcake!!!"

Yeh this won't happen either...

     My belief and feel free to mock or question me for this. We [Humanity] are merely a species of creature native to our world (unless you're really into Stargate). There are countless millions of lifeforms in this universe whether we know what some of them are already is a mystery but I do believe that one mysterious deity did  not create everything.

Oh and if the fanatical Christians start ascending into heaven any time soon. . well. . . I'll start rummaging for that old crucifix I have some where.

Peace and love and may Poseidon bless you x

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

That Friday Feeling. . wait it's Wednesday? (or to Meh and back again by Bilbo Baggins)

Why hello there, been working out? ;)

   Hey all, haven't really wrote on this blog for a while as I have been snowed under with coursework/applications/telling the CIA where Bin Laden was/punching Jesus. .

   But yeh it's week 12 of the 2nd and final semester, rejoice as it's the last teaching week of the academic year for me! win dance?!

No win dance for you oh apathetic one...
    I really wish I was in a song and dance mood and it's weird but i've just gone meh.
Meh is the feeling of 'yeah and? so what?' and 'pffft to that'.
Meh is a creature that lurks deep within the halls of apathy, waiting like a devious little goblin to suddenly strike when all the fun and excitement has been drained from it's victim!


   Simply put, think i've worn myself down due to all the stress from my workload/personal stuff/and trying to get 80%+ fit again. The major signs being i'm now enjoying watching football (kicky football) and playing Fifa. . and everyone that knows me, knows I can't stand


. . .I'm even thinking about playing kickyfootball in the off season before Rugby comes back into my life! (sweet delicate gentle Rugby)

   Now this really isn't a big thing for a 'lads lad' but i'm not a 'lads lad' in the slightest, I thought Torres was a  type of tree! (blog about this issue coming later)

    Seems my way of relaxing is doing things I don't normally do. How do you fight the Meh and get it's claws out of you, I normally go for a run but looking at the weather. .

.... it's a bit meh...

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Royally give a toss?

Right, so anyone else really not that bothered about the upcoming wedding?

    I love really like this idea of witnessing history and i'm not slagging the event off at all, it's just all this damned hype. .

    Don't get me wrong, I would class myself as a history buff and I personally like the fact that we still have a traditional monarchy with a line of Kings and Queens which can be traced back to 1066 but just this notion of a Kate and Wills film/tattoos/stickers/Dracula attending the wedding/bullsh*t that I can't stomach!

      To quote a taxi driver I had the other day (had as in used his services. . not slept with 'had'. . wait. . 'used his services' sounds sexual too. . ah forget it)  
"Royally give a f**k!"

   ...And I thought my 'meh' attitude was bad but literally everyone I talk to is more excited but the idea of having a four day weekend rather than enjoying the actual event. .  well everyone except my mum who is more interested in seeing the wedding dress rather than the event itself. Is that a Mum thing or a lady thing in general?
      The only excitement i'm hearing is off people from abroad who think it's one big fantasy story and sooo Romantic etc. Sadly there are no dragons or sorcerers in England, just angry newts and Dungeons and Dragons players...

Anyways, Hope everyone enjoyed their Easter and is having or joining in with an event for the big wedding day!

God I hope the dress is pretty. . 'cough'


Thursday, 21 April 2011

What i'm reading ->

As i'm busy tanning and running in the country (read as burning and sweating) thought i'd write a small blog to simply say,

Please check out my 'What i'm reading' list, a small selection of friend's blogs

kisses x

Sunday, 10 April 2011

ASDA v Me (There can be only one!)

I bought a pizza from ASDA and it was so poorly wrapped up that when my other half took it out of the bag it fell everywhere. This i deemed to be the first act of aggression from ASDA. . .war followed.

    I complained to ASDA with regards to their shameful display of product quality and received an email basically saying bring the wrapper insult! not only do they think I throw pizza around but they deem me unhygienic!

My reply message to ASDA

With regards to the reply I received of
"On your next visit to store, if you could please return the product packaging to the Customer Service Desk, one of my colleagues will be more than happy to refund you for the item or provide you with an alternative item"
    I find this response to be impossible. During the event of withdrawing the poorly wrapped product it met with it it's arch nemesis, gravity. Upon gravity's mortal wounding of the pizza the packaging followed suit and joined the pizza in an awkward display of being scattered grotesquely on the kitchen floor and it's surroundings, If I owned a pet no doubt the pizza would have impacted on that too.
    The packaging you are advising me to produce was promptly binned for health reasons during the clean up process. Sadly I wasn't carrying any photographic equipment to capture the rapturous moment of impact on the kitchen floor but the comedic resonance of splat didn't do it justice.
    I believe the packaging to be now somewhere in the Sheffield area but if you dispatched a team of ASDA aces I am sure we could track it down, though best ensure they are fully trained and have ample supplies as this task may take a while.
    However I would not recommend the deli pizzas as I find their wrapping inadequate and would no doubt haphazardly spill out over the Sheffield wilderness.
    I also do not have proof of the ruinous remains of my girlfriends once designer top this also met it's end within the rubbish. I merely have my receipt and the ever haunting image of my awesome looking pizza hurtling towards the ground and impacting like an asteroid on to the moon.
Kind regards,

Thursday, 7 April 2011

And I was like. . then I was like. . then she was like. .then I was like

    Gorgeously sunny day outside and that means a few things, awesome weather, lack of clothing - I live in shorts during winter so come summertime I look normal AND rah girls....

     You know the type, hair stuck up in that weird beehive/seashell thing. Plastered with makeup and a devout follower to the church of fake tan, today I saw a lass with orange legs and yet a pale face almost like a geisha had been wading through tangerines...

ANYWAYS I was walking in front of 3 rah girls today and all I could hear was "I was like nouwai I had no foundation on you so couldn't see it, then I was like you serious? then I was like I can not do this"
    When did  'I was like' replace 'I said' and why on God's Dog's name is it being used so frequently in the same freaking conversation?
    Fair enough if you use it once i guess. "The butcher said to me, sorry mate no more rump steak left and I was like awww" but isn't the whole idea of 'being like' refer to an emotion or object? in my example I had the feeling of being sad.
    Maybe we should change the whole thing " The butcher said to me sorry no rump steak left and I was like a bear and ate him/I was like a ninja and killed him in his sleep/I was like a rah girl and stared at him blankly without actually knowing what he said"

    And for anyone that has the same qualms with this like stuff then don't go to Liverpool.
     I had a similar experience whilst in Liverpool stuck on the underground listening to a girl use like in replacement of as many words as possible "like what, like ya know ya can't be doing that like! i was like what you on bout like?"

Anyways I best be off like... x

Saturday, 2 April 2011

Salt? that's too mainstream Paprika for me please..

What is up these days?
    This rant stems from last night and the misadventure to my local Rock nightclub. Whilst in the queue and peering around I saw nothing but manboychildren the pretty type who have never seen a razor in their life, now i'm a fresh faced 25 year old in comparison to my age group but Jesus even I looked old, now that's saying something.
    After showing my ID (yeah that's right laugh it up) we got into the club and what do I see? More manboychildren all in those checkered shirts from Topshop, Seriously? we're talking guys in the same group wearing the same damn shirt. Add to this the guys that think wearing a woolen bobble hat in a sweaty nightclub is hip and the token "look at my vest top isn't it low? check out my sayings that I have inked on me" guy.
    Now this club on a Friday is was your normal nice nightclub night and by that I mean - it's not your 'student night' that run throughout the week at the SU. The kind of nights that feel like an over sized school disco with single lads circling the dance floor and ogling the "oh my god i'm so mashed" rah girls.
     The Club in question is also not your "check out my bling I Iz wealthy coz I haz dese chains and spend a tenna on shots yeh?" kinda place either, it's just nice and i've never had a bad night there even when I was in a wheelchair due to my broken leg. Don't get me wrong my group have had a few skirmishes in their like most clubs and I have cripple tackled some guys back in the day. (I had a broken leg and tackled people, I wasn't rugby tackling disabled guys)
    Now for a club that was often frequented by your run of the mill lets say 'different' type of people on a Monday and Friday with the weekends including the somewhat dangerous looking types. Note, I've drunkenly stumbed into a biker who was wider than he was tall with England tatooed on his head and wasn't battered senseless. My label of nice sounds kind of weird but it's generally what most people think.

Well they did. .

    Testosterone fuelled fools in their "that's too mainstream yah? let's all buy the same stuff and be different yah?" and those "ohhh myyy godddd quad vods are myyy faaaaavourite" lasses have totally ruined my favourite haunt. In the space of a few months this scummy sweaty letsSellAlcoholThatIsPureDeath nightclub has totally changed to favour this new trend, I can't really relate my facial expression through words but when I looked around last night it was like            0.0 ?

    Seriously this idea of being, well 'Yah? rah? yah? no wayyy?' really bugs me. Why try and appear to be non-mainstream but yet emulate everyone else?  I'm not one to lecture on fashion as my style is 'I don't care about fashion I just like comfort Where are my cookie pants?' but that's me, I don't have to be told what's in season and I certainly won't spend stupid bucks on a damned T shirt purely because it's 'in season' wait, in season? is that right or does that mean when an animal is in heat?

 Oh and this is for the guys,
    First of all don't buy trousers that hang around near your knees and make you look like you're 12 and have stolen your dad's grown up pants. Secondly stupidly low cut vest tops have never been cool and don't wear them if you're unhealthily thin, you look like a plastic bag blowing against a stick.

Think it's time I got my slippers and pipe and went to bed with a hot chocolate

    Was fiddling around with Amazon associates (I added it and have no clue what it does but I think i get a penny or something if you click) and random searched Shogun 2 for a price check and came across this, literally no idea what it is but dammit I want it now, lets all buy it and be different.

Friday, 1 April 2011

Colours and Stuff?

After making this blog I fiddled with some basic stuff  in the 'advanced' settings to make it look a touch more appealing to the eye. . the result however is some Facebook-esque monster with a keen eye for terrible fonts.

    Now it has been years since I did my GNVQ ICT stuff so my memory of html coding is hazy at best BUT I shall be making a start on re-learning (is that even a word? hmm spell checker says it's ok. . .but 'ok' isn't)

ANYWAYS if anyone has any tips or hints to make this page a bit more ME-ish then let me know on here or on Facebook as atm i'm guessing (stats shows me) that my main traffic atm is from Facebook with the odd random hit.

...ME-ish means balloons and brightly coloured stuff but not too sickly sweet or cartoony, been a day and i'm bored of this colour scheme AND I don't have any Transformer/Thundercat logos

The shame

Thursday, 31 March 2011


    I've never really talked about ADHD in fact I rarely mention it to people because I feel ashamed , rather than spill my life story I usually sound off with 'sorry touch hyper' or 'my mind was elsewhere' 'lets go for a run' 'are those new shoes?' etc

    This being my first blog I thought 'why the hell not' and for anyone that reads this take note i'm not an excuses kind of person I like to do stuff and have fun and i'd rather be working my ass off than sat around blaming the weather and my difficulties.

    Living with a constant reminder that i'm bored, highly inattentive and need to do different things is usually a-ok for me. I tend to run everywhere/walk fast in public the other half calls it 'power walking'
    This isn't due to me wanting to improve my fitness no no - this is me being so damned energetic all the time but daft as it reads it is actually useful as i'm usually running late for appointments or class!

    I take strongest dose of ADHD medicine legally allowed in the UK just so I can attend my lectures and do my work for University and I take parts of the holidays off so I can be me again.
    I really like being on my meds, I'm calmer and I can sit in class without acting up, singing or generally being a pest. Thrown out of classes for being a nuisance isn't a nice feeling for a 25 year old who wants to study that 's for sure.

    At school I was always in trouble I literally hated school and to this day I still do, if the school burnt down I wouldn't bat and eyelid it was that bad for me. Where did they send the kid that was in trouble for being bored and hyper ..that's right isolation in a small boxed off room. Despite my grades at school I was labelled a 'troublemaker' and 'doesn't care'....yeah the guy now at University didn't care about his education...'cough'
     I love it when people say 'Oh it's all made up' 'they just need a slap' yeah when I was a kid I got a good slap for being naughty but I still had ADHD the difference being I learnt right and wrong from my Mum so I didn't get into serious trouble or hurt anyone AND through my good upbringing my constant boredom was channeled into being creative or being outdoorsy, growing up near the countryside was bliss.

    Think I have ranted off for too long, so going to quickly end this first entry. ADHD is a nightmare for some things in my daily life but I never use it as an excuse, ever.
    I'd rather be a 25 year old young man singing like a crazy person enjoying life and being labelled as immature than sat in the house complaining there is nothing to watch on telly..

    What would you rather be, hyper or moany?