Royally give a toss?

Right, so anyone else really not that bothered about the upcoming wedding?

    I love really like this idea of witnessing history and i'm not slagging the event off at all, it's just all this damned hype. .

    Don't get me wrong, I would class myself as a history buff and I personally like the fact that we still have a traditional monarchy with a line of Kings and Queens which can be traced back to 1066 but just this notion of a Kate and Wills film/tattoos/stickers/Dracula attending the wedding/bullsh*t that I can't stomach!

      To quote a taxi driver I had the other day (had as in used his services. . not slept with 'had'. . wait. . 'used his services' sounds sexual too. . ah forget it)  

"Royally give a f**k!"

   ...And I thought my 'meh' attitude was bad but literally everyone I talk to is more excited but the idea of having a four day weekend rather than enjoying the actual event. .  well everyone except my mum who is more interested in seeing the wedding dress rather than the event itself. Is that a Mum thing or a lady thing in general?
  
      The only excitement i'm hearing is off people from abroad who think it's one big fantasy story and sooo Romantic etc. Sadly there are no dragons or sorcerers in England, just angry newts and Dungeons and Dragons players...


Anyways, Hope everyone enjoyed their Easter and is having or joining in with an event for the big wedding day!

God I hope the dress is pretty. . 'cough'

x

What i'm reading ->

As i'm busy tanning and running in the country (read as burning and sweating) thought i'd write a small blog to simply say,

Please check out my 'What i'm reading' list, a small selection of friend's blogs

kisses x

ASDA v Me (There can be only one!)

I bought a pizza from ASDA and it was so poorly wrapped up that when my other half took it out of the bag it fell everywhere. This i deemed to be the first act of aggression from ASDA. . .war followed.

    I complained to ASDA with regards to their shameful display of product quality and received an email basically saying bring the wrapper back....an insult! not only do they think I throw pizza around but they deem me unhygienic!

My reply message to ASDA

With regards to the reply I received of

"On your next visit to store, if you could please return the product packaging to the Customer Service Desk, one of my colleagues will be more than happy to refund you for the item or provide you with an alternative item"

    I find this response to be impossible. During the event of withdrawing the poorly wrapped product it met with it it's arch nemesis, gravity. Upon gravity's mortal wounding of the pizza the packaging followed suit and joined the pizza in an awkward display of being scattered grotesquely on the kitchen floor and it's surroundings, If I owned a pet no doubt the pizza would have impacted on that too.

    The packaging you are advising me to produce was promptly binned for health reasons during the clean up process. Sadly I wasn't carrying any photographic equipment to capture the rapturous moment of impact on the kitchen floor but the comedic resonance of splat didn't do it justice.

    I believe the packaging to be now somewhere in the Sheffield area but if you dispatched a team of ASDA aces I am sure we could track it down, though best ensure they are fully trained and have ample supplies as this task may take a while.

    However I would not recommend the deli pizzas as I find their wrapping inadequate and would no doubt haphazardly spill out over the Sheffield wilderness.

    I also do not have proof of the ruinous remains of my girlfriends once designer top this also met it's end within the rubbish. I merely have my receipt and the ever haunting image of my awesome looking pizza hurtling towards the ground and impacting like an asteroid on to the moon.

Kind regards,

           D

And I was like. . then I was like. . then she was like. .then I was like

    Gorgeously sunny day outside and that means a few things, awesome weather, lack of clothing - I live in shorts during winter so come summertime I look normal AND rah girls....

     You know the type, hair stuck up in that weird beehive/seashell thing. Plastered with makeup and a devout follower to the church of fake tan, today I saw a lass with orange legs and yet a pale face almost like a geisha had been wading through tangerines...

ANYWAYS I was walking in front of 3 rah girls today and all I could hear was "I was like nouwai I had no foundation on you so couldn't see it, then I was like you serious? then I was like I can not do this"
    When did  'I was like' replace 'I said' and why on God's Dog's name is it being used so frequently in the same freaking conversation?
    Fair enough if you use it once i guess. "The butcher said to me, sorry mate no more rump steak left and I was like awww" but isn't the whole idea of 'being like' refer to an emotion or object? in my example I had the feeling of being sad.
    Maybe we should change the whole thing " The butcher said to me sorry no rump steak left and I was like a bear and ate him/I was like a ninja and killed him in his sleep/I was like a rah girl and stared at him blankly without actually knowing what he said"

    And for anyone that has the same qualms with this like stuff then don't go to Liverpool.
     I had a similar experience whilst in Liverpool stuck on the underground listening to a girl use like in replacement of as many words as possible "like what, like ya know ya can't be doing that like! i was like what you on bout like?"


Anyways I best be off like... x

Salt? that's too mainstream Paprika for me please..

What is up these days?
    This rant stems from last night and the misadventure to my local Rock nightclub. Whilst in the queue and peering around I saw nothing but manboychildren the pretty type who have never seen a razor in their life, now i'm a fresh faced 25 year old in comparison to my age group but Jesus even I looked old, now that's saying something.
  
    After showing my ID (yeah that's right laugh it up) we got into the club and what do I see? More manboychildren all in those checkered shirts from Topshop, Seriously? we're talking guys in the same group wearing the same damn shirt. Add to this the guys that think wearing a woolen bobble hat in a sweaty nightclub is hip and the token "look at my vest top isn't it low? check out my sayings that I have inked on me" guy.
  
    Now this club on a Friday is was your normal nice nightclub night and by that I mean - it's not your 'student night' that run throughout the week at the SU. The kind of nights that feel like an over sized school disco with single lads circling the dance floor and ogling the "oh my god i'm so mashed" rah girls.
     The Club in question is also not your "check out my bling I Iz wealthy coz I haz dese chains and spend a tenna on shots yeh?" kinda place either, it's just nice and i've never had a bad night there even when I was in a wheelchair due to my broken leg. Don't get me wrong my group have had a few skirmishes in their like most clubs and I have cripple tackled some guys back in the day. (I had a broken leg and tackled people, I wasn't rugby tackling disabled guys)
    Now for a club that was often frequented by your run of the mill lets say 'different' type of people on a Monday and Friday with the weekends including the somewhat dangerous looking types. Note, I've drunkenly stumbed into a biker who was wider than he was tall with England tatooed on his head and wasn't battered senseless. My label of nice sounds kind of weird but it's generally what most people think.

Well they did. .

    Testosterone fuelled fools in their "that's too mainstream yah? let's all buy the same stuff and be different yah?" and those "ohhh myyy godddd quad vods are myyy faaaaavourite" lasses have totally ruined my favourite haunt. In the space of a few months this scummy sweaty letsSellAlcoholThatIsPureDeath nightclub has totally changed to favour this new trend, I can't really relate my facial expression through words but when I looked around last night it was like            0.0 ?

    Seriously this idea of being, well 'Yah? rah? yah? no wayyy?' really bugs me. Why try and appear to be non-mainstream but yet emulate everyone else?  I'm not one to lecture on fashion as my style is 'I don't care about fashion I just like comfort Where are my cookie pants?' but that's me, I don't have to be told what's in season and I certainly won't spend stupid bucks on a damned T shirt purely because it's 'in season' wait, in season? is that right or does that mean when an animal is in heat?

 Oh and this is for the guys,
    First of all don't buy trousers that hang around near your knees and make you look like you're 12 and have stolen your dad's grown up pants. Secondly stupidly low cut vest tops have never been cool and don't wear them if you're unhealthily thin, you look like a plastic bag blowing against a stick.

Think it's time I got my slippers and pipe and went to bed with a hot chocolate



Endnote
    Was fiddling around with Amazon associates (I added it and have no clue what it does but I think i get a penny or something if you click) and random searched Shogun 2 for a price check and came across this, literally no idea what it is but dammit I want it now, lets all buy it and be different.

Colours and Stuff?

After making this blog I fiddled with some basic stuff  in the 'advanced' settings to make it look a touch more appealing to the eye. . the result however is some Facebook-esque monster with a keen eye for terrible fonts.

    Now it has been years since I did my GNVQ ICT stuff so my memory of html coding is hazy at best BUT I shall be making a start on re-learning (is that even a word? hmm spell checker says it's ok. . .but 'ok' isn't)

ANYWAYS if anyone has any tips or hints to make this page a bit more ME-ish then let me know on here or on Facebook as atm i'm guessing (stats shows me) that my main traffic atm is from Facebook with the odd random hit.

...ME-ish means balloons and brightly coloured stuff but not too sickly sweet or cartoony, been a day and i'm bored of this colour scheme AND I don't have any Transformer/Thundercat logos

The shame